My Tumbling Act

Last night I had a dream I was flung out onto a stage. The mission: perform an improv acrobatic act. I began to panic. I haven't done gymnastics in 20+ years. Something inside me said: tap into what you knew as a child. I fumbled around in this leotard, peeking at the audience all sitting in their seats, and I just began to tumble my way around the stage... Literally tumbling. Cartwheeling, falling over, rolling around. Little kid style. Not long after this tumble act was over, I was home. Inside my house there was this huge black basket. Curled up inside was a gentle looking yet HUGE snake. I was mesmerized by it's creamy color and subtle brown pattern. My eyes were trying hard to focus on it. A voice tells me, "look up anaconda." I search for anaconda. My Grandfather suddenly appears and tells me 3 snakes appeared in his house once.

I wake up, take notes, research anacondas. I dig into Animal Speak to look at Snakes and the number 3. Here's the fascinating thing about my dreams the past 5 years: while I'm inside my dream, I can literally ask: what does this mean? What do I need to learn from this? The answer isn't always there. Sometimes it's like a riddle unfolding as the day goes on. Sometimes my days feel like extensions of dreams. So many wonderful mysteries about this life.

Confession: The last few months have felt like a tumbling act... I tumble inside my head, my heart, my words come tumbling out backwards. There has been a lot tumbling around in a lot of little ways and let me tell you: a bit of my own madness tumbled out and led me to some incredibly wide open fields. These things I'm confronting leave me feeling joyous and shellshocked.

My biggest tumble of all: I've made some huge snafus with some huge things and feel slightly embarrassed (?) about it.

Namely: Legend of You. The glorious project I announced was underway on 12-12-12. The lessons I've learned when it comes to unveiling something incredibly precious to you before it's complete, is that it's better to keep some things under your hat until their finished. The videos for my course were accidentally erased. The joy and madness of digital. The writing content is safe, but yes, the videos must be refilmed.

Legend of You, I am picking up the pieces, rebuilding, and coming back stronger than ever. 

In the meantime, I don't plan to force it. It feels so much better to confess this, because the loss was a little tragic and for a while I felt completely crippled, like I can't make any decisions or make any moves until this thing is outside of me. To those of you who've been waiting for the ride: thank you for your patience! I feel like I have so much to say about the things we lose along the way. I have always regained whatever it is I've lost and it always comes back in a deeper more profound way. 

 My new mantra. Freebie! Download / copy / print / share :)

Local Current: I'm teaching Art Journal Magic at The Funky Trunk in downtown DeLand and preparing a painting class. Some other precious things... I'm keeping under my hat for now. Much of my art is there right now, so if you are local and want to peruse, it's a fabulous little shop next to the Women's Museum of Art smack dab in the heart of things.


Last but not least on this giant update train: 

I can finally announce how excited I am to be a part of SOUL FOOD! Have you heard about it yet?? There's a whole slew of creatives cookin' up some Artsy Lessons and Soul Food just for you. I'll have more details on my "course / dish" as time grows near, but until then: 

Learn all about this fabulous offering AND get in on the early bird special <click below>

With Love and Confessional Relief, 

Carissa

Full Steam Ahead

Good-day creative mates, I've been plotting out some fun new ways to reengage with blogging, stay inspired and share my creative magic without getting overwhelmed. Aside from putting 97% of my creative energy toward my first eee-course, Legend of You (I may be taking a while to piece it together but the wait will be worth it. I have never been more proud of anything in my life. I imagine it's what mothers must feel when their first child is born. That's the kind of energy I feel. Also that all my other "birthing" won't take as long after this...)

I'm cooking up some other fun projects, goals, and challenges to explore + blog about this year.  Here are some ideas I'm churning around:

1. Creative In-spur-ation: inner and outer things to spur the creative journey.
2. Silly Sunday: something silly for the sake of pure silliness. Say that 10 times fast. This week I played dress-up (see last photo).  
3. Week-In-Pictures: A visual wrap up & some words on my journey each week. Trying to come up with a better name for this, but for now. . . 
4. 365 NightlyWanderings: 4 or 5 years ago I started to draw every night in bed. I wanted to improve my drawing skills, end my days creatively, and take advantage of that sleepy head-space to hopefully follow and collect strands of subconscious wisdom. I have rekindled this love affair and I'm taking it to bed with me every night via my iPad. A bit erotic? (^.^) More on this soon!
5. Healing for ACOA's: It's no secret anymore -- I've only shared little glimpses of my journey to wholeness after being raised by an alcoholic, but I'm ready to step out of the closet with the fact I am an "adult child of an alcoholic" and I have wandered down many windy roads to get here and I am ready to help others (ACOA's and beyond) overcome and become whole again. Yes. The aftermath IS beautiful... 

WEEK IN PICTURES:

S P A C E carved out in my studio. Hung shelves above and created a massive bulletin board.

A messy little squirrel nest made of leaves I admire every morning.

A place to storyboard Legend of You . 

To see it. To feel it (and other-such-dreams) made real. My intuition led me here and I'm loving it.

Revisited and created  

 NEW ART

Midweek: pushed past resistance and showed up to yoga class. Kundalini yoga has been one of the greatest experiences and teachers of my entire life. 

Made the best coconut chicken curry of my life.

Felt the fierceness of  what SHOWING UP can do. Do you know this feeling of pushing past?! Of showing up in the dark? Roooooar! (it moves mountains)

Some video stills: Week 3: Legend of You / Getting Grounded.

More video stills: found the legends of THIS TREE. . . what it had to share. 

Dressed in blues and silvers under the NEW MOON!

Kissed stoic lions.  

Ended it all with SILLY SUNDAY. Played dress up.

This week was all about resistance and moving forward. Onward and through. FULL STEAM AHEAD. 

With my whole heart. 

I send you love and all green lights. Wayne Dyer

+ 

Carissa

Legend of YOU: Sneak Peek

My heart is so silly full as we approach this new year, so ready to journey into 2013 beginning with Legend of YOU. Thank you for hanging in there while I sort out the technical aspects! And deepest gratitude for being a part of this journey. More words and sneak peeks as January draws closer!

Cheers to new years + NEW LEGENDS!

All my heart,
Carissa 

PS. You are warmly invited to join my new creative community: Legend of YOU!  I have yet to set up the mobile version, so it may appear blank if you aren't viewing from your computer.