Friday, July 19, 2013

My Tumbling Act

Last night I had a dream I was flung out onto a stage. The mission: perform an improv acrobatic act. I began to panic. I haven't done gymnastics in 20+ years. Something inside me said: tap into what you knew as a child. I fumbled around in this leotard, peeking at the audience all sitting in their seats, and I just began to tumble my way around the stage... Literally tumbling. Cartwheeling, falling over, rolling around. Little kid style. Not long after this tumble act was over, I was home. Inside my house there was this huge black basket. Curled up inside was a gentle looking yet HUGE snake. I was mesmerized by it's creamy color and subtle brown pattern. My eyes were trying hard to focus on it. A voice tells me, "look up anaconda." I search for anaconda. My Grandfather suddenly appears and tells me 3 snakes appeared in his house once.

I wake up, take notes, research anacondas. I dig into Animal Speak to look at Snakes and the number 3. Here's the fascinating thing about my dreams the past 5 years: while I'm inside my dream, I can literally ask: what does this mean? What do I need to learn from this? The answer isn't always there. Sometimes it's like a riddle unfolding as the day goes on. Sometimes my days feel like extensions of dreams. So many wonderful mysteries about this life.

Confession: The last few months have felt like a tumbling act... I tumble inside my head, my heart, my words come tumbling out backwards. There has been a lot tumbling around in a lot of little ways and let me tell you: a bit of my own madness tumbled out and led me to some incredibly wide open fields. These things I'm confronting leave me feeling joyous and shellshocked.

My biggest tumble of all: I've made some huge snafus with some huge things and feel slightly embarrassed (?) about it.

Namely: Legend of You. The glorious project I announced was underway on 12-12-12. The lessons I've learned when it comes to unveiling something incredibly precious to you before it's complete, is that it's better to keep some things under your hat until their finished. The videos for my course were accidentally erased. The joy and madness of digital. The writing content is safe, but yes, the videos must be refilmed.

Legend of You, I am picking up the pieces, rebuilding, and coming back stronger than ever. 

In the meantime, I don't plan to force it. It feels so much better to confess this, because the loss was a little tragic and for a while I felt completely crippled, like I can't make any decisions or make any moves until this thing is outside of meTo those of you who've been waiting for the ride: thank you for your patience! I feel like I have so much to say about the things we lose along the way. I have always regained whatever it is I've lost and it always comes back in a deeper more profound way. 

 My new mantra. Freebie! Download / copy / print / share :)

Local Current: I'm teaching Art Journal Magic at The Funky Trunk in downtown DeLand and preparing a painting class. Some other precious things... I'm keeping under my hat for now. Much of my art is there right now, so if you are local and want to peruse, it's a fabulous little shop next to the Women's Museum of Art smack dab in the heart of things.

Last but not least on this giant update train: 
I can finally announce how excited I am to be a part of SOUL FOOD! Have you heard about it yet?? There's a whole slew of creatives cookin' up some Artsy Lessons and Soul Food just for you. I'll have more details on my "course / dish" as time grows near, but until then: 

Learn all about this fabulous offering AND get in on the early bird special <click below>

With Love and Confessional Relief, 


  1. Carissa I can't imagine how that felt for you losing all your video content, must have been devastating!! You will come out of it stronger though and I am sure better (and more determined) than ever.
    Much loving and hugging

    Micki x

    1. Thank you so much Micki... I appreciate the support, it means so much. Big love & blessings to you <3

  2. Love your vision of life.... and yes nobody can take your magic!

  3. Those are some really inspiring lines that I found in this post!


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