I have no idea how these treasures fit into my already stuffed bag, since at the airport they told me I wasn't allowed to have a gift bag in addition to my carry-ons. I managed to stuff in my bag: A gigantic sliver of a birch tree (plus the little one shown above,) art made while there, rocks, Russian Dolls, snacks, a juicy apple, a Dr. Pepper, and many other little things. I was already calculating which I'd give up first (my sneakers for sure, or a handful of clothes) in order to make room for the treasures. But somehow it all fit. Magic. Aside from the art brought back, the little Russian Dolls are probably my favorite. I had some as a child that were lost along the way. I've forever had my eyes open for just the right set. I came across the perfect ones, after Moose Coffee, in a Scandinavian gift shop, owned by a interesting fellow named Brad. He was so kind as to package up my dollies using his "Minnesota Scissors" aka his fancy knife to cut the twine and bundle them "Vietnam War Style" as he called it. My BF growing up was Vietnamese, and I miss her dearly! Anyway, how could I decline such an offer? Here's a shot of his shop where he lives up top:
It was all very magical, the whole trip, the whole everything. I feel a lot like the Russian Dolls right now, piece by piece opening up, finding my true center, my true purpose, my joy, revealing myself to myself. No more hiding, no more erasing and editing, no more running in place, no more placing things in parenthesis or tiny sized in the margins. Just naming and expressing and restoring and believing in the power of my self. Hugely believing in the power and truth in the messages I find, feel, see, and am drawn to. In the power of YES. In the power of NO. . . no more denying or shying away from. I know I have a lot to share about (life) surviving, blooming, revealing, loving, shedding, braving, and sewing it all together into something more tangible that would help others too (become more true, self-loving, and live their lives fully and creatively despite circumstances!!!) Far outside parenthesis. Large in the middle of the page. How will I ever fit this all in or make it real, tangible, outside myself. . . (Universe, I'm asking, quite frankly, for your guidance!) I think we have to reach out to ask for what we need, and be ready for when it appears.
As this year comes to a close soon, and my last year as a twenty-something also comes to a close - I am grateful for many things. I am grateful for the sense of urgency I've always felt in needing to release the past (which I've done many times over.) I'm am grateful for the way I latch onto something I know in my heart-of-hearts is something I must absolutely follow through with without a sense of hesitation or doubt (however ridiculous or outlandish the idea may be.) I am grateful for my sense of letting go of things that don't serve me, in order to make room in my precious bag of life for the things and people that truly matter most. I am grateful for the people who truly see me, and love me for me. I am grateful for many things.
I'm welling up with so much to share about
b e c o m i n g and o v e r c o m i n g
(what it all boils down to. i am in a constant state of becoming)
Something tells me I need not fear how it will all fit together, or what anyone will think, I just need to do the work, keep following the signs, and listening intently.
It will all fit in my bag off life. Magically. Just like that.